So another not so good week has past, i cant say bad week these days, as i can still remember my bad weeks and the week past doesn't even compare.
My gran is still hanging on 6 days after being given 48hrs left to live, she is a tough old bird, she is comfortable and in no pain, just sleeping her final days away, not a bad way to go. I'd like to think she is having fantastic dreams and that is the reason she is sticking around.
I'm late in writing this as i was on a downer and every word i typed was negative and i did not want it to be that way. I have struggled with what's going on it had triggered a bit of a dip in my mood and within that i had started to revert back to old habits, mostly eating a lot of junk food and doing a lot less exercise than i had been of late.
Today was supposed to be my weekly weight watchers weigh in, but i could not face going knowing what i had eaten the week past and imagining what the scales were going to say. I sent a message to my leader and got a very encouraging, supportive reply, and because of that i think that all going well i shall go and get weighed in tomorrow morning instead.
I am back on track today, had a good walk, and have refrained from cakes/sweets/crisps etc so things are definitely back on the right road.
I have recently rekindled my interest in Buddhism through a book i bought called " The Places That Scare You" written by Pema Chodron It is exactly what i've been needing an inspirational book written from a Buddhist stand on how to conquer fears using ur beliefs. I am not a Buddhist as such but it is something i keep coming back to time and time again and provides me with a great deal of benefit when things aren't going so good. So maybe i should consider taking it a bit more seriously.
I would very much like to live within Samye Ling (the buddhist centre i have attended in the past) for a few months to experience what it would be like to do so, volunteering in the kitchens, and being able to study and meditate in a supported environment. Will need to look into it i think.
As for this coming week i think it's going to be a whole lot better, i feel emotionally stronger i have slept better the past two nights, and i am better prepared for what lies in wait.
Unfortunately i had to postpone my visit down South for obvious reasons, but it has worked out well as i am now going in a little over a fortnight and staying for a full week. Good times!