What a difference a week can make!
Had a bit of a revelation a few days ago, it came to me after getting good results from my blood tests.
I was feeling sorry for myself wondering why i was so tired all the time, i realised that i was actually feeling the way i always used to feel, before losing weight, through exercising, and eating more healthily.
I have put back on two of the five stone i lost, so obviously that is going to impact on my health, and had virtually stopped exercising. So in short no wonder i feel like shit all the time.
I brought it upon myself, so equally i can reverse it, which i have started to do, eating less and also cutting out the crap again, i did it before, i can and will do it again.
I am feeling motivated and upbeat about it, and looking forward to the challenge.
I am missing socialising though, i miss my mates and  really need to try and put myself out there in the real world again, looking into college courses, which will be great if a little daunting at first, but anything like that will take months to organise, i need to start now, strike while the iron is hot an all that.
Have  absolutely no idea how to go about this i have been living in a very very small social circle  for the past 5/6 years due too my illness, so, what to do! Plenty of food for thought.
I mean right now i would love to be going to a pub, with friends to watch the Rugby. The rather obvious problem with this, having no one to bloody go with.
I have the option of asking my CPN for help, but any group/club he can organise for me is keeping me inside the mental health care system, and i'm wanting to spread my circle outside that.

Has been a long time since my last post!
Mostly due to my struggling to find motivation to do things, and an overwhelming tiredness that seems to have attached itself to me.
I am in a rut that is new to me, as i don't think it has anything to do with my usual depression, i am familiar with lethargy which i can mostly push myself through, and get over.
Past few weeks when i push myself i end up needing to step back to recover, rather than it helping.
I went to my G.P and she took blood to make sure my thyroid function was ok, fortunately it is, and I was pleased as well that my diabetes test came back good too.
So am i just needing a right good slap?? Am i just being a lazy bastard??
I know one thing the rate i'm putting weight back on is affecting me, my back and knees ache again when i'm out walking.
I am pissed off as this is the longest spell of being in a positive state of mind, and i feel it is slipping away from me when i should making the most of it.
I am meeting with my old CPN Laura on Thursday, and hopefully she will have some suggestions for me, as for first time in years i am at a loss for what to do next, all i can think of is 'get over it' that doesn't seem to be working!
I have started chatting on Twitter again which is good for me as it means i'm not just sitting listening to music all day, and my online friends are a great source of support when i'm not out meeting friends in the 'real world'.
Is quite ironic that this post comes from me in a stable 'normal' mood yet it has a lower tone, than when i was going through a depression.
Arse!
;oP