This week has flown past, and has been a good one.
I have done a lot of walking, as i had a poor week last, i was determined to get motivated and give myself the proverbial kick up the bum, to get my focus back and my healthy head back on. I gave myself Sunday as a rest day and had a lazy one.
On Monday i met my mum for coffee and she suggested we walked out to Kincaidston for dinner, is a 5 mile walk so a good re-introduction to the world of walking, and i was pleasantly surprised that i managed the walk at a good pace without much difficulty. Had a lovely dinner too.
Tuesday my C.P.N Laura was visiting and we had a good chat she was pleased that i was getting back on track, and put my slip in mood and sleep pattern down man-flu 2010 which was still lingering in the form of a cough(which has now also gone:)) I also had a reasonable 5 hours sleep the night before which was great even if it did mean i missed my weight watchers weigh in. I weighed in on my Wii Fit and had put on 3lbs according to it, which made me more determined than ever.
Wednesday my sister came and took me out in the car for a run, and to Dobbies i like it there love imagining what i would have i my garden if i had one, and admiring all the exotic fish and reptiles, was brilliant. In the evening i went to watch my younger brother play rugby which was fun, he played very well and they won! I walked home from the rugby to get my step count up, and that was another 4 miles under my belt.
Thursday was a rest day as was feeling the effects from the previous three days exertions.
Friday The weather was starting to get colder but bright along with it, which to be honest suits me far better than the heat of a good summer. I made it along the beach.
Yesterday was a great day, got a lovely surprise, two friends who i have known online for some time and who were supposed to be coming up to visit today decided the weather was too good to miss and came up to visit a day early, cue some frantic tidying as i am not the best at keeping on top of my housework, they are as lovely in person as the impression i got through our online conversations, and we settled in to blethering away like old friends who have known one another for years from the start, really was brilliant to meet them. I also got to spend some time with my friends who were recently married they both seem so happy and it was a delight to catch up with them as well, as is becoming a very bad habit, not catching up with my friends often enough, they don't live so far away, i need to make more of an effort.
Oh also this week clothes arrived that i had ordered, i bought them intending to put them away for when i lost a bit more weight, but low and behold they FIT! What a wonderful feeling and great motivation to get my arse back into gear.
All in all it has been a great week, and Nikki and John are here till Wednesday so more fun to be had i think.
I have one moan that i shall mention briefly and that is over my laptop, again the motherboard has failed, only one month on after it being fixed, fortunately the pc tech is honoring his word and the work needing done will fall under the warranty. It did make me search a good bit harder online though and discovered it is a much reported fault with HP and HP COMPAQ laptops, the nvidia chip burns out the motherboard within the first 1-2 years in 1 in 7 laptops i think it is shocking that such a company can get away with being so neglectful, in there treatment of there customers as too knowingly sell machines with this fault to the public, i fell very poorly treated and would urge people too avoid any HP product as they are a unsavoury bunch.

Otherwise fab week :)

It's 5.30am on Sunday morning and i haven't slept yet, and Friday night i only got around 90 mins. Not been a good week.
It started well with me getting over man-flu 2010 with just a bit of a cough remaining, Got weighed on Tuesday morning and, had lost another 3lbs taking me up to 20lbs in five weeks which i was over the moon about!
Made the mistake of having a few beers two nights in a row, didn't go crazy, had been craving a drink for a while so was my treat to myself. Was a bad move as i always forget, i get down for a few days  even after a handful of beers, so my exercise routine is out the window i'm comfort eating although i am getting a hold on  eating the past few nights have been tough, i mean when i'm awake all night i want to eat which means i have an extra 8 hours to try and keep tabs on, when all i want to do is eat cake.
Been feeling very lethargic again, just cant get motivated. I know what i need to do, it's just a matter of setting myself in a forward direction, but all i want to do today is wallow, perhaps sleep, sleep would be nice :)
It's as if i'm trying to sabotage myself again, i'm not giving up though i may take a rest day today, but by this time next week i'll be telling you how i'm kicking ass again!
I do not expect to lose this week in fact i'll be lucky if i don't put weight on, but we'll see.

Well this week has been a dull one, done very little due to man-flu issues, my mood has been level and good even though i've not left the flat very much at all.
Tuesday was my weigh in with weight watchers and i lost another pound and a half which is great as i really had done very little exercise at all, so that takes my weight loss total to 15 and 1/2 lbs in a month which i am bloody over the moon about!
Not expecting to lose much this week as it's not been a good week i've had the problem of being bored which always leads me too overeating and totally binging on the wrong kinds of foods too, in other words, i ate cake!!
And bloody tasty it was too, but i've been good most days and think that i should be ok.
My relationship with food has been an unhealthy one all my life, when i hurt myself as a child i was given a sweet to make it better and still associate sweets with comfort and safety. I started putting on weight when i started working as a chef and had to stop playing rugby, the weight slowly started to build.
It wasn't an issue until i was put on certain meds (Amatryptiline, Resperidone, Lithium) When i was on these pills i ballooned and could put on as much as two stone in a year. When i had a spell of good health i decided to try a break from my meds and slowly came off them all, the change was instant and lost 4 and 1/2 stone in under 6 months without really being on an actual diet, it was at that point something inside me panicked and i reverted to my old eating habits and it all piled back on with a little extra for good measure, what went wrong i have no idea, i just think i'd spent so long being fat that anything else was venturing in too the unknown and i was no good at that.
This time i'm much more determined and in a far more stable state of mind this time i will not arse it up!

Well another week has flown past, glad to say the vast majority of it has been great!
The week started well with a relaxing walk on Sunday and visit to my parents in the evening, is always good to see them although my dad and brother were suffering from a heavy doze of a cold.
Tuesday was my weigh in and again had no anxiety over it as i knew i had lost a good bit of weight six and a half lbs to be exact, that's 15 and a half lbs in total was over the moon!
I had taken Terri(my dog) to parents on Tuesday to be looked after as Wednesday i had plans to go to Arran Tuesday night was a long one no sleep at all, prob due to anxiety over what i had planned for following day. As my plan was to go to Arran on my own, which was a rather big step for me as it meant the journey would include travelling on four trains a bus, and a ferry twice. I was doing it purely to prove to myself that i can get out travelling about and using public transport with little or no panic.  It worked :) even though i had no sleep i made it to and from Arran and went a lovely walk taking some good pictures on the road, all with barely any panic attacks at all.
Was a great day!
The next day Thursday, was a fat day i couldn't stop eating, i even fell for a half price trick with a pack of caramel shortcake enjoyed the first piece but not the rest so why did i eat the bloody things???? Anyway i wrote off Thursday to bad habits and promised myself that over the weekend things would go back to being good to myself and eating well. I have done so.
Got the start of a cold sorry..... Man-flu, on Friday and its gradually gotten worse, and is pretty much keeping me from my exercise routine which isn't so good, and for sure it will affect on my weigh in on Tuesday. Still hoping to lose though even if it's half a lb i'll be happy!
Anyway till next week :)